How to Break Free
Most people don’t realize it.
But they’re addicted to their misery.
Not because they enjoy suffering—
but because it’s familiar.
It’s safe.
It’s the devil they know.
Making a real change?
Stepping into the unknown?
That feels like jumping out of a plane without a parachute…
or worse—jumping with a parachute, but being terrified it won’t open.
And so we stay stuck.
Even when we hate it.
Even when we say we want out.
I know, because I’ve lived it.
How Misery Becomes a Safe Place
When I look back at the times I felt the most miserable, the pattern is obvious:
I clung to what I knew, even when it was destroying me.
I stayed too long at jobs that drained my soul.
Not because I loved the work—
but because starting over somewhere else felt too scary.
Too many unknowns.
Too many risks.
I stayed in relationships where I wasn’t growing—where deep down, I knew I wasn’t even happy.
But the thought of being alone again?
Building something new from scratch?
Facing the fear of rejection, of being “behind,” of making the wrong choice again?
That kept me frozen.
Every time, the fear of the unknown felt heavier than the pain of staying the same.
And that’s exactly how misery becomes addictive.
Not in the way we normally think about addiction.
It’s not the high we’re chasing—
it’s the predictability.
Pain becomes the known.
And the known always feels safer than the unknown to a survival-focused brain.
Why Changing Feels Scarier Than Staying Miserable
Making real change feels like stepping off a cliff.
You don’t know if your parachute will open.
You don’t know if you’ll crash and burn.
You don’t know if you’ll regret it.
So most people don’t even try.
They tell themselves stories:
- “Maybe it’s not that bad…”
- “At least I know what to expect…”
- “Starting over would be too hard anyway…”
They choose guaranteed suffering over the possibility of something better.
Because the pain they know feels less threatening than a freedom they don’t.
But here’s the truth:
If you don’t jump, you’re already crashing.
You’re just doing it in slow motion.
How the Addiction to Misery Gets Stronger
Dr. Joe Dispenza talks about how the body becomes chemically addicted to emotional states.
When you live in sadness, anger, frustration long enough, your nervous system expects it.
Your brain craves it.
It finds reasons to keep you feeling the way it’s used to feeling—even if it hurts.
I’ve seen it happen in myself too many times:
- Worrying when things were finally going right
- Expecting betrayal even when someone was kind
- Sabotaging opportunities because success felt foreign and uncomfortable
And every time I stayed in the misery just a little longer…
it got harder to leave.
Because the longer you live inside the wrong identity—
the more you believe it’s who you are.
Breaking the Addiction to Misery
If this is hitting you in the gut right now—good.
That means you’re waking up. You don’t HAVE TO be addicted to misery.
Because if you don’t break the addiction to your old suffering, it will bury you.
Not overnight.
Not with fireworks.
But slowly, quietly, by robbing you of the life you could have lived.
Here’s where you start:
1. Tell the truth.
Stop sugarcoating it.
Stop pretending you’re “fine.”
Name it:
“I have been addicted to my pain. And I’m done.”
2. Expect withdrawal.
It’s going to feel uncomfortable.
Your brain will beg you to run back to the familiar.
Don’t.
3. Move anyway.
Jump.
Trust.
Even when you’re scared out of your mind.
Especially when you’re scared out of your mind.
4. Choose your environment carefully.
You can’t heal in the same environment that made you sick.
Get around people who expect growth, not gossip.
Vision, not victimhood.
5. Remember: the unknown isn’t your enemy.
The unknown is your only chance at a life worth living.
If you want proof that healing from deep struggle is possible, check out how I overcame a so-called “incurable” disease in How I Healed Ulcerative Colitis Through Fasting.
Freedom is always closer than you think.
You Are Not Your Pain
I don’t care how many mistakes you’ve made.
I don’t care how deep the pit feels.
You are not your misery.
You are not your depression.
You are not your fear.
You are not your past.
You are the architect of whatever comes next—
if you’re willing to walk through the fire of change.
If you’re ready to stop living the same sad chapter over and over…
If you’re ready to build a life you actually love waking up to…
We can help you.
At Evolve To Fit, we don’t just build stronger bodies—
we build stronger lives.
If you’re local to Arlington, Virginia, come visit us here: Google Maps Location.
Or reach out to Contact Us about virtual coaching options.
No excuses. No settling.
The parachute will open.
But you have to jump first.
